Time to speak out about depression: John Nice’s story of recovery
John’s story illustrates how situational depression can quickly become serious.
AT 66 years old John Nice wanted to end his life.
He refused to eat, refused to get out of bed, and would not open up about his depression.
For him, it was the end and there was no coming back from the dark place he found himself in.
It was thanks to a care home in Lexden and his dear friends that John is alive and well today, and able to tell of his inspirational recovery.
John, now 67, had spent his whole life living with his mother, Gwen, in Rowhedge. He has never been married or found himself in a serious relationship.
Sadly Gwen died due to a clot in her lung in May 2014, aged 91. John had looked after her until the very end.
After her death, he thought he was coping well, but he was wrong.
“We went for weekends in Maldon and Sudbury, she was a very easy person to please,” John said.
“She didn’t expect much but she gave a lot.”
John’s friends tried their best to take his mind off his loss but by Christmas it became too much.
He said: “My friends were worried about me and got me involved in a quiz group which I really enjoyed.
“It was around Christmas time when the depression really kicked in. We had never made a fuss about Christmas but it was a special time. I felt sad that my mum wasn’t there.”
By March, John was having suicidal thoughts and said he had tried numerous times to jump into a river, leaving notes behind for his nephew Simon.
“I had put on a heavy weighted coat, walked to the door but I just couldn’t do it,” John said.
By August, John had decided he could not go on.
“I didn’t want to live any more, I just didn’t eat and took to my bed. I was signed off work as a storeman in September as I realised I couldn’t go on any more. “My nephew came up one weekend and found me, he wanted me to get seen but I refused to go to hospital.
“They had to get the police involved to section me, I wasn’t very pleased at the time but thank goodness they did. It just wasn’t me at all.”
John’s depression had not just scarred him mentally, he had also caused considerable damage to his body by not eating or moving from his bed.
In October, he spent two weeks in the Lakes mental health hospital in Colchester. He remembers nothing of his time there.
John was then transferred to Colchester General Hospital but was not prepared for what he heard.