HELPING OTHERS

Mood disorders such as depression and bipolar disorder affect over 10 million Americans. But it’s not just the ones affected by the disease who suffer. Mood disorders also affect their families and friends.

If someone you love is coping with a mood disorder, you may experience certain feelings: helplessness, confusion, frustration. While you cannot help what you feel, you need to know that these feelings are normal.

As a friend or family member of someone who is coping with bipolar disorder or depression, your support is an important part of working toward their well-being. To better help someone coping with a mood disorder, there are certain things you can do to ease their struggle.

What you need to know:

  • Each person experiences a mood disorder differently

  • You cannot make your loved one well, but you can offer support, understanding and hope

Each person experiences a mood disorder differently
You cannot make your loved one well, but you can offer support, understanding and hope

What you need to find out:

  • Contact information for your loved one’s doctor, therapist, psychiatrist, local hospital and trusted friends/family members

  • The treatments and medications your loved one is receiving, dosage instructions and necessary changes to diet/activity

  • The likely warning signs of a worsening manic or depressive episode and what you can do to help

How to talk to a person in crisis:

  • Stay calm and talk slowly

  • Ask simple questions and repeat if necessary

  • Don’t take their actions or hurtful words personally

  • Don’t handle the crisis alone

While it may be difficult at times, patience and understanding are especially important. Stay positive and keep reminding your loved one that you are there to help. Treatment is available for those suffering from depression and bipolar disorder. While treatment times are different for each individual, most people with mood disorders can return to stable and productive lives.

Supporting a Child

When a child is struggling with depression this impacts everyone in the house in different ways.  Taking care of the child in crisis is a priority and during this time the family is off balance.

Daily routines that were easy and predictable can become tiresome and difficult. Parents understandably are focused on the child in crisis while the other children tend to function on auto pilot. They can be at their best, while silently worrying, not wanting to create what they believe will make things more stressful.

Tips for parents:

  • Be kind to yourself.

  • Take care of yourself (exercise, take walks, coffee breaks out of house, time with spouse/partner/friend).

  • Spend alone time with the other children in the home (lunch, ice cream, a movie).

  • Let your school social worker/counselor/psychologist know that your family has a child in crisis. They can connect with your child and create a safe space.

  • Consider counseling for the other children in the home. (1-1 counseling for support, sibling support groups).

  • Keep dialogue open and honest.

  • Watch for changes in siblings behaviors (sleeping a lot or not at all; change in diet; grades dropping; less time with friends). This may be a sign of their reaction to the situation and try not to overreact or underreact.

  • Let friends and family support and help.

  • Allow yourself to talk about what is happening with friends and family.

  • Take time to process your own feelings.

Remember that there is support in your community for the entire family. Call your child’s school social worker or psychologist. Not only will they be able to support your child in school if needed, they can refer you to therapists in your community. Another resource is your pediatrician or family doctor for referrals.

– Geri Helfand, LCSW