WHAT HELPS AND WHAT HURTS
I’m fussy about television shows. So many choices but so little time.
Particular favorites are THIS IS US and SHAMELESS. It may seem these two long running series have nothing in common. One concerns middle and upper middle class family dynamics while the other concerns a scrappy family barely making ends meet while trying to cross over to the other side of the tracks.
However, each is about family systems and each has a depressed family member, addicted family members or a family member living with bipolar disease. The tightest thread connecting THIS IS US and SHAMELESS is how each member of these family clans support each other through gooey thick and watery thin.
My purpose is not to be critical of either show. They both have withstood the test of critical audiences to continue telling their stories. Rather, my purpose is to highlight depictions of mental illness on the air waves which impact that same critical audience.
If you have read my VOICE during these past years you know I am a loud and often angry advocate for awareness and compassionate understanding of depression and bipolar disorder as real diseases. Rebecca’s Dream continues to teach WHAT HELPS AND WHAT HURTS for those seeking guidance for loved ones living with symptoms like hopelessness, emptiness or worthlessness.
WHAT HELPS:
THIS IS US portrays a character who is notorious for his jokes, goofy romantic gestures and lightening the mood when family issues become too intense. He is always up beat, smiling and “happy”. During the beginning seasons we glimpsed this jolly man’s backstory of deep depression which did not surface again until this year.
BRAVO to the writers of THIS IS US. Bravo!! You show a true characterization of how depression feels for the individual and family members. You do not sugar coat the disease or belittle and shame the person living with it and family members attempting to help. The portrayal is real about a real disease. Perhaps, the most important message is that love and support are crucial but not enough to fully help a loved one regain a balanced life.
Together, with family support, understanding, compassion and essential medical help individuals and their families will come out healthier and happier on the other side.
A few suggestions for WHAT HELPS:
(Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance, 2005)
My suggestion. Begin watching THIS IS US from the beginning or continue watching. Contact RD with your thoughts and comments about the portrayal of depression. Your VOICE counts.
WHAT HURTS:
SHAMELESS has been a favorite “don’t talk to me now” show. FYI…my husband does not care for the over the top story line and refuses to join me. We all have our limits.
I have been a fan of the Gallagher family from the beginning. I have enjoyed watching each character grow up from season to season. They are a rag tag, tough, smart mouthed, full speed ahead group who, in their own way, love each other and protect each other. I like that. All for one and one for all.
Aside from the alcoholic addicted father there is a son who lives with bipolar disease. For a few seasons the family came together to watch him, care for him and help him when he fell off his medical plan.
“Most shows use mental illnesses like bipolar as punchlines or adjectives, further perpetuating the problematic way we tend to talk about these illnesses at home. …Since the show’s beginning in 2011, they’ve done an amazing job with their honest portrayal of bipolar disorder…” (HELLOFLO.COM 2018)
This season (#9) something changed. Bipolar has become a punchline, a joke, a shameless depiction of a serious disease. The boundary less dad has found a smart, pretty psychiatrist who lives with severe bipolar disease. The story line is so ludicrous I have a difficult time writing about it. Suffice it to say, this woman’s disease becomes a play thing for dad. While medicated she lives a productive successful life. Unmedicated ~ her mania becomes a joyful roller coaster ride for the Gallagher father. She is out of control and he loves it…not her, the mania. He does despicable things to keep this lovely woman off her meds. Yes, it’s disgusting.
SHAMELESS writers…SHAME ON YOU! Do you think you are drawing a bigger audience with this out of bounds story line? Do you think you are teaching healthy lessons about depression and bipolar disease? Do you think when you write this garbage?
STOP IT!! STOP IT NOW!!
You are hurting those living with mental illness and validating those who believe these same folks are crazy lunatics. The son’s story line was decent, real, compassionate and thoughtful. Why do you feel the need to now shame and humiliate your characters? Why? For laughs? I’m not laughing.
Dear friends, this is my angry side. Don’t mess with momma Gail when it comes to making fun of mental illness. My Rebecca did and Rebecca’s Dream has worked too hard these past 14 years to look the other way even if SHAMELESS is a long running award winning production. They have no right to diminish my daughter, her dream and thousands of people living with depression and bipolar disease.
My suggestion. Watch SHAMELESS and send RD your thoughts, feelings and opinions. We want to know. We want to hear your VOICE.
WHAT HURTS:
(Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance, 2005)
November 13, 2018 is Rebecca’s 45th birthday. She would have liked THIS IS US. She would have liked SHAMELESS until Season #9.
Becky, I’ve got your back. No one will shame you, the disease, or anyone else while I’m around. Promise.
With a protective heart,
Gail
In past years more than 45,000 organizations in 71 countries came together to celebrate this global event. Since its’ founding in 2012 #GivingTuesday has resulted in greater donations, volunteer hours and activities that bring about real change to communities. We invite you to join the movement and GIVE this November 20.
A few ideas include:
There are many ways to become involved in #GivingTuesday. Join the movement. You will feel a sense of accomplishment and joy.
Thank you.
With gratitude and appreciation,
Rebecca’s Dream
“It’s all in your Head”
‘’It’s all in your Head” contains information about: ADHD, depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder, OCD, stigma, symptoms and ways to cope.
Author and illustrator Marlee F. Is a teen living successfully with depression. As Marlee struggled to understand her thoughts, feelings and moods she created “It’s all in your head.” Marlee’s passion became helping teens easily understand they are not alone during difficult mental health challenges ~ help she wishes she had during her early years of confusion and shame.
Mental disorders don’t discriminate.
One in five teens are affected by some form of disorder severe enough to impact their daily lives.
However, with professional help and self-care most teens feel better within 4-6 weeks.
“Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions.
Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too can become great.
When you are seeking to bring big plans to fruition, it is important with whom you regularly associate.
Hang out with friends who are like-minded and who are also designing purpose – filled lives.
Similarly, be that kind of a friend for your friends.”
-Mark Twain
UPCOMING EVENTS
Rebecca’s Dream College 2019 Scholarships in memory of Dr. Harlan Haimes
Rebecca’s Dream is a 501(c)3 Foundation, committed to serving the community by promoting awareness and compassionate understanding of depression and bipolar disorder as real diseases. The Rebecca’s Dream Scholarships are an opportunity for high school senior students to address the serious issue of stigma associated with mental illness.
Three applicants will be awarded a $1,500 scholarship each.
Tips & Tools
What you should know if you love someone with high functioning depression
Source: Life, Healthy Living by Lindsay Holmes
Featured Book
Mark your Calendar for May 2019
Mental Health Equality Take a Stand/Walk
Rebecca’s Dream and Mental Health Association of Greater Chicago have partnered to engage people everywhere to TAKE A STAND and help us:
- Erase the stigma and bring equality to mental health awareness
- Spread the message that mental illness is a real disease
- Eradicate and educate on issues surrounding suicide
